


remember (i promise you)

by orphan_account



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Crying, Emotional Conversation, Fluff, Gay, Josh Dun/Tyler Joseph One Shot, M/M, Promises, Self-Harm, Tyler makes Josh feel better, kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-30
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-10-10 10:43:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10435917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Tyler wants to make music. Josh wants to die.— The boy put his pinky finger out."Will you remember? Please, remember. Because we're among those who heal, those who resist, those who believe in miracles"Tyler wrapped his pinky finger with the boy, and pressed his forehead against the other boy's."I promise you." He breathes against his lips. —





	

Tyler's vision was blurry. He was crying again against the cold wall of the gym, almost in the dark. His shoulders were shaking and he was sobbing as quietly as he could, hoping that no one would decide to come in and discover the captain of the basketball team crying like a little girl on the floor. He was almost seventeen, not some twelve years old chick. He was so, _so_ pathetic.

So pathetic to cry over the dreams he'll never realize.

Maybe he should listen to his father who said he was talented for basketball and try to enter NBA or to play basketball as a job or whatever. But he didn't want to. What Tyler wanted to do was to write music.

He wanted to share his thoughts, to put words on what people were too ashamed to say out loud, to make people smile, _feel_ , he wanted to help others through his music. But he'll never be able to, and the simple fact that he couldn't made him cry.

He heard a muffled groan not far from him, and he froze. He tried his best to calm his breathe and to stop his tears. Quietly and slowly, he started to approach the bathroom were the noises came from. He heard sobs, too. Someone was crying and breathing really heavily and fastly inside this.

He opened the door, and when he did, he saw a boy sitting on the floor, pressed against the wall. He tried to put the lights on, but they seemed to be broken. He had really dark hair, it seemed to be curly, but Tyler couldn't see his face really well, and he couldn't recognize someone because of his hair.

But he recognized another thing.

Between the hands of this boy, there was something shining silver. A blade. And even with the darkness of the bathroom, Tyler could notice the blood dropping on his arms.

"Hey, what are you doing?! _Stop_!" He yelled, falling on his knees in front of the boy.

"What has gotten into you to do such stuff?!"

The boy just kept sobbing loudly, again and again. Tyler didn't know if he was allowed to touch him, but he did it anyway. He brushed his cheek gently as he took the blade away from his hands, slowly.

"Why are you hurting yourself like that?"

The boy just shook his head to reply to Tyler. The latter started to see his face better. He knew who it was, he saw him so much times, and they exchanged smiles a lot in the hallways. But he didn't know his name. The only thing he knew is that Tyler had always wanted to talk to him, ask his name, do something just to talk to this beautiful boy, but he couldn't. He couldn't, because Tyler was too shy, and he would've ended messing everything up like he always does, and he would've left him because he can't come out as gay in a christian family and being The Jock™.

"What's wrong? Talk to me, you know you can tell me everything." Tyler whispered, cupping the boy's cheeks to make him look right in his eyes.

The proximity wasn't awkward, but it definitely did something to Tyler and he felt his whole body melt under these beautiful mocha eyes that he caught himself staring at so much times.

"I just don't deserve to live." The boy started, breaking the eye contact. "I'm so ugly, I'm a freak, a monster, a shame for my family and-"

"You know too well that it's bullshit." Tyler cut him off, taking tissues to wipe the blood. The cut weren't really deep, but they'll need care.

"Bullshit for you, maybe, but I can't bear to see my monstruous figure in the mirror, to see this horrible body, this horrible face. Can you hear it? Of course you can hear it, the murmur; the deafening and permanent murmur, it has taken over the city and the spirits, it walks the streets screaming, like a parasitic noise inside you that exhausts you, that whispers in the ear of everyone "you're not good, you're good for nothing, you'll never be good enough", that repeats to you "you are like that, or you should be, nothing would change if you changed." He started before wiping his eyes.

"The deafening and permanent murmur that hopes to pull you down to the ground by shouting "Don't try to rewrite history, you'll never make it, it's too late, it's a done deal, it's imprinted in the memories." The deafening and continuous murmur that makes you think there's no redemption, no forgiveness, no do-overs, no remission. And... you accept it. You let it in. I hate myself, I hate myself so much, and this deafening murmur is showing me how much I'm monstruous." He added, his voice cracking.

Tyler breath hitched in pain. It ached to hear someone say this.

"Look at me. Look at me in the eyes." Tyler asked, on the edge of tears, his heart beating faster than it ever did, and the boy did what he asked to.

"I think you're beautiful, since the first time I saw you. Actually, I've never gotten over it." He said, and adrenaline started to fill his veins. "And then, what would I do without you? And what would the universe do without you? It could never work. It's _impossible_. So don't cry, you musn't cry, because it will get better, I promise, it will get better." He spoke louder and faster.

He didn't noticed that he was slowly approaching the other boy's face. The latter was starting to cry again, quietly this time.

"Because we're among those who heal, those who resist, those who believe in miracles, not those who believe that if the tables move it's because someone kicks them with their foot. One day we won't even think about it anymore, we'll have forgotten it all, as if it had never existed.

"You're wondering if you're a savage beast or else a saint, but you are the one and the other, and many more things too, you're definitely many. Don't hate yourself, because you're Alive, because the most important thing is who you truly are and you're surely wonderful. It will get better.

"But while we're waiting for the hapinness, put your arms around my neck if you want to, while I repeat those lines that will push us forward. Will you remember? Please, remember."

The two boys crashed their lips together. They were both crying quietly, and this kiss was the sweetest kiss you could ever imagine. As their soft lips were moving together, as their breathing were melting, Tyler was sure he was melting too. It was so sweet, _so_ _soft_... He wanted to protect this boy with all he had.

They heard the bell ring, muffled by the gym, and they knew that if they didn't move, they will get in trouble. So they pulled away, slowly opening their eyes.

"You know." Tyler started. "Everyone think that I'll have to play basketball as a job. But I want to play music. My family will hate me for this."

"You shouldn't listen to them." The boy croaked out. "Please, do whatever you want with your life. I _beg_ you. I want you to be happy. You're a too wonderful person to spend your life doing something you don't want. Let's make a deal, okay?"

The boy put his pinky finger out, and they both giggled a bit.

"I promise you that I'll stop hurting myself if you promise that you'll make music."

Tyler wrapped his pinky finger with the boy, and pressed his forehead against the other boy's.

"I promise you." He breathes against his lips.

They shared a quick gentle kiss, Tyler passing a hand in those beautiful curls that the other had, and the dark haired boy got up, quickly wiping the dry blood away from his arms.

The lights came back in the gym and Tyler assumed that someone entered it. His breath hitched when he saw the boy's face again, clearly this time. He was so beautiful.

"My name is Josh."

He put on the hoodie that was wrapped around his waist, and smiled as wide as he could to Tyler.

Then, he disappeared.

Tyler cleaned the mess in the bathroom, and flushed the blade while praying, asking God to take care of this boy.

After this day, Tyler never saw Josh again.

When he asked, nobody knew. Most people didn't even know he existed. So he prayed, again and again, but God never returned him to Tyler.

He spent months crying over him, thinking he was dead, and he wrote a song about him, that he named Johnny Boy.

He sang it until his voice pleaded him to stop, until his piano was getting tired of it.

He played it for years.

 

_**S E V E N     Y E A R S     L A T E R** _

 

Tyler was almost running in the crowded street. He fell asleep really late, working on a track of the first Album of his band, twenty one pilots. The song was named Johnny Boy. He stayed up all night to make it perfect, and he was going to be late at the music store. Or maybe he already was. Brendon was going to groan again and to mumble about how Tyler wasn't serious enough for a work like this.

When he slammed the door open, breathing heavily, Brendon seemed to be here — he heard noise coming from the back of the store. Well, singing, actually. And the fact that Brendon was doing this without thinking of it was almost breathtaking since it sounded way too beautiful.

He smiled to Tyler when he came out of the back of the store. "You're late, dude. Not that I'm surprised, but you know, you could _try_ , some days." He said, and Tyler laughed, knowing that he was joking. He seemed to be in a really good mood, and his smile was really fond.

The morning passed by quickly. In the beginning of the afternoon, the store started to be empty. But he knew that someone would come.

It was a man around his age. He was always coming around 3PM, looking through the CDs, the drumsticks, and sharing fond smiles and glares with Tyler. He would bite his lip and play with a curl of his bright yellow hair whenever he started to read something or to be interested. He had a nose ring, stretched ears, and he was wearing snapbacks and beanies really often since he had red hair, looking like his hair started to fall a bit. When he smiled, his eyes were all crinkled, his teeth were perfectly white and his tongue was slightly poking out. He looked _beautiful._ He reminded Tyler of _something,_ or _someone,_ or _somewhere,_ he didn't even knew which one. When he entered the store, Tyler always relaxed, and watched him silently while the stranger was looking in the CDs.

They never really talked, since the yellow haired man never bought _anything._ Literally. He just looked around, sometimes for the same things that he looked for the day before, he would stay for half an hour, sometimes an hour, and then leave.

Tyler knew that today wouldn't be an exception as he gave a warm smile to the muscular man when he entered. Why would it be different than usual?

He felt that something was different when the man responded shyly, looking away and seeming anxious. He spent his time looking at the same CD that Tyler couldn't see for twenty minutes, and he noticed that he was shaking.

He let out a shaky breath, and he turned towards Tyler.

When Tyler saw that the man was walking towards him, he froze a bit. Was he going to talk to him? They never did. Maybe they were going to, now? Maybe he was going to hate him?

 

The man stopped two feet away from Tyler, putting a CD on the counter.

 

"You kept your promise, Tyler."

 

Tattooed, clean arms were handing him _No Phun Intended_.

**Author's Note:**

> I need to precise that I'm not Christian, but since Tyler is, huh, idk, yeah.
> 
> hope you enjoyed♥


End file.
